A quick reflection on transitioning
Today I decided to go out to the movies. Just me, for fun.
I decided to go see Zootopia (good movie BTW) later in the evening. So I made myself up. Nothing too extravagant, but the whole works. Full makeup, nice dress, high heel boots, pretty jewelry. You get the picture.
Wait… this sounds like the plot to a horror movie…
Well don’t worry about that, nothing bad happened!
While I was sitting there waiting for the movie to start, munching on popcorn, I realized that I truly felt like a women. Nothing forced, no male personality nagging at the back of my mind, no insecurities. Just a sense of belonging. It felt nice. It felt nice to treat myself and not worry about anybody else. To feel good about myself.
You see, everyone who has gender dysphoria has a choice. Not a choice about our gender identity, but a choice about our identity to the world. We must choose to be who we know we are, to transition. Or to continue as we are.
To put it in movie terms:
“After this, there is no turning back. You take the blue pill—the story ends, you wake up in your bed and believe whatever you want to believe. You take the red pill—you stay in Wonderland, and I show you how deep the rabbit hole goes. Remember: all I’m offering is the truth. Nothing more.”
When I decided to transition back in October, I knew it would be the right decision. I had to own it, to live with it, to take the red pill.
Now I know it was the right choice.
I have lived 38 years a lie, but I can live the rest of my life with the truth.
Nothing and nobody can ever take that away or tarnish it.