Transgender and proud

I am a transgender woman, and I’m not ashamed for who I am.

I started my transition and living full-time as a woman about a month ago.

This is not a choice, it is who I am. The only choice is refusing to hide away from reality.

For many, many years I never really gave my gender much thought. I was just who I am. Thinking back on it though I have always identified as a woman. I’ve enjoyed more female central media such as TV shows, movies, comics, novels (what there is of it anyway). I’ve always played as a girl in games when given the option. I would occasionally crossdress when nobody was around.

I am now comfortable in my skin. Everything is just… natural.

In many ways I wish I had been born a woman. It would have given me so many experiences that I can never have. I can never know what it’s like to be a little girl, or what it’s like to be pregnant and give birth (this is truly the one experience I deeply miss the most).

There have been many nights that I wished I would wake up and “magically” be a woman.

C’est la vie. You get some and you lose some.

Even though I wish I was born a woman I don’t regret being born male. I would not have the wonderful wife and beautiful girls that I have now if my life had been any different. For that I will always be immensely grateful.

My life is immensely harder, but also immensely more enjoyable. I knew what giving up my middle-class white cis-male privilege would be like, but knowing and living are two wildly different things. Nothing can prepare you for that change.

People’s attitude and behavior towards you change. Even if in minor ways. So far I have been lucky and that friends and family have accepted who I am, or at least they are pretending too. Which is all that matters right now. This is a hard change for many. Our society ingrains the male/female separation in very deeply.

I will post about my transition from time to time. This is not the point of this site or blog, but it is a big part of me, and if it helps anybody else then so much the better.